Veterans' Day, November 11th

WOD:
"Bulger"

150 m run
7 chest to bar pullups
7 front squats
7 hand-stand pushups

10 RFT (scaled: 6 RFT)

16:43 (6 rounds)


I cannot believe I did not go 10 rounds. This was one of those days where I really needed to push myself and maybe even stand up for myself and I just didn't do it.

I started to blow through the rounds and was on about the 5th one when I made the mistake of saying out loud that I might actually go the full 10, only to be told quickly that I should have decided that up front. And I should have. Absolutely. I had doubted myself again and would have to just live with it.

But my response, to quit at 6 rounds and let that be it, wasn't what I wanted it to be either. I wish that I had called time at 6 rounds and then done the final 4 without credit. Because I don't care about the credit. I should have done it for the vets. Period.

I regretted my decision to scale all day. The extra 4 rounds would have exhausted me further, but I chose to think ahead to my performance in the afternoon Dulce instead. And that was wrong. It was selfish. I was actually embarrassed to go back in to the gym for my Dulce WOD.

My whole response was wrong. I let something shut me down....and I thought I was learning not to let that happen. I regretted it to the point of breaking down in a pathetic puddle of tears last night. But it wasn't just this regret. It was everything. Everything I'm facing. And everything I pull with me...everywhere.

Regrets, regrets, regrets....

More on that later.