Resolutions are for habitual quitters

If I get one more e-mail that says anything remotely close to "New Year, New You" in the subject line, I swear I will slap the person sitting closest to me at that moment. No, LIVESTRONG, I don't want to log my daily food intake with you. And Weight Watchers, I know I have unsubscribed from your e-mail list at least half a dozen times. Do you require notice of a restraining order?

For the first time I think ever in my life, I do not have a New Year's resolution that has anything to do with my weight or clothing size. Instead, I resolved to wash my dishes every night before I go to bed. I realize most people probably already do this, and if you're going to judge me for not doing it then we probably don't need to be friends. But I'm happy to report that I have been 100% successful in keeping this resolution....nevermind that it's only January 4th.

My other goal (I don't actually like the term "resolution" anymore) was to write something...here...every day. That, I'm sorry to say, has been an absolute fail.
This is where I come to work things out, but lately it's felt dark and damp and not at all welcoming. I feel the need to keep my coat on, just in case I have to dash out the door that I didn't quite close all the way for the very same reasons. I can't say exactly what's keeping me in this state of uncertainty, I just know I feel it.

2010 was a year of monumental changes for me. I don't know how ready or prepared or comfortable I am with any more changes that might come forth in 2011. But I'm also excited. It's all silly, really, being confined by the four corners of a calendar. At the same time, it's how we compartmentalize our lives.

2010 ended with the quiet sense that I'm not so sure of where I belong anymore. And the second it took to go from one year to the next didn't bring any clarity. But the difference in this New Year and New Years past is that I was a little sorry to see 2010 go. It was a year of change, but it was a good year. I made great strides as an individual. I tried new places and new things and sort of found a new sense of being....which is probably why I find those e-mails so irritating. Do we really need a new us every new year? Because I'm pretty sure that would qualify as schizophrenia.

So I'm not great at keeping all of my goals or resolutions. People change and so do our views. And I'm still not sure of some things that hitched a ride on the hands of the clock as it struck the first midnight of 2011. But at least my dishes are clean.