First Day's Here Again

She says his name in her baby voice but without the "s" on the end. She always remember the two t-shirts that she sometimes sleeps in once belonged to him and her pink shirt with the bumble bee that he picked out, she remembers that too. She says his name with a question mark each time I slip one of them over her head and she smiles.

He's still my baby, too. No matter that just this morning I realized he's less than a foot shorter than me. My guess is we'll make up that difference before he's out of elementary school. I don't have to bend my head quite so low to kiss the top of his. For now we'll take on 2nd Grade. A new teacher, a new room in a different hallway and different faces left and right.

He brushes his teeth and combs his hair and without a beat missed he combs her's, too. She laughs and smiles wide at him and feels important and he does, too.

I watched him walk in line down that different hallway this morning, following closely behind his teacher. Sometimes he gets distracted and I just prayed that he would stay focused long enough to make it to his new room amid the swirl of first day of school morning mess.

Yesterday as he sat next to me in church, near death from boredom, I measured his sun browned wrist with my finger and thumb just to see if I could still wrap them all the way around. I was suddenly reminded that he's still little in some ways, but inching ever closer to independence. Ever closer to eye level.

"I'm kind of excited about school today," he whispers over breakfast. It's okay to be excited, I tell him. "Is it okay if I don't miss you?" he asks with a good measure of hesitation in his voice. Of course. But I hug his neck when time comes to leave and I feel his heart beating wild and strong. He's nervous and brave and he goes forth to conquer because bravery doesn't mean you're not scared. It means you go anyway.

Watch him, baby girl, and follow his lead. You'll be there soon enough.