20 Days and Counting

Yesterday I told Wes that we only had 20 days left until school starts. He smiled with some relief and said "Oh. Okay." I asked if he was excited. "I'm not excited, but I'm happy for the 20 days....it means I still have time to grow up."

My baby! His precious little five-year-old mind has been worried that he has to grow up before kindergarten. I hate that I can't always make his worries go away. And I hate that I didn't realize this even was a worry.

So much he will have to do on his own. I wonder if he will ask for help when he needs it, or just pretend to know what he's doing the way I always did.

I wonder if his little hands will figure out how to hold the scissors and if he will be brave and make conversation with his table mates. I wonder how he will choose his seat at the lunch table....and if he'll remember how to open his hot lunch container.

I wonder if the things he learned in pre-school will come back to him. So many things seem to have been lost over the summer. But maybe that's because he's had one last opportunity to live care-free.

It seems unfair. That the last opportunity we have to be care-free ends when we're five.

20 days left until we have to grow up. Maybe I'll figure out how by then, too. Maybe I can show him how to hold the scissors. And maybe he can show me how to be brave.